November 1, 2010


Everyone at some point in their life will be letting go of a relationship; it’s inevitable. This is not the worst thing that can happen to you; nevertheless, it feels like you will never recover. Guess what---you will! We all have to learn how to survive a break rather it’s done face to face or heaven forbid through one of those cowardly phone calls or breakup letters. Letting go of a relationship is never an easy thing to go through.

When I went through my breakup(s) I was lucky enough to have a loving family and great friends who let me do the talking while they listened; only giving advice when ask. I felt like my heart had been ripped out, my dreams stomped on and future plans thrown out with the trash. I couldn’t understand why men dump women (or vice versa) and act like it means nothing. Then before long there they are with someone new.

If your ex can replace you that easily --- let go, grieve the loss, mend that broken heart and move on with your life! I’m not suggesting you make a “rebound” play to get even; that’s the worst thing one can do. Sit back and get to know yourself, ask yourself some questions about you. Take a pencil and paper and write some titles across the top of the page ex; what do I really want in a partner? Then, under each title, fill in what “you” expect in a relationship and don’t settle for anything less. 

Life teaches us that relationships are individuals taking a risk. You give it your best and if it ends you walk away with another lesson learned. The upside, yes there is one, is sometimes your ex comes back to apologize and make amends. After all, not all relationships end forever and   occasionally, people need to separate in order to realize just how they feel about the other. Sounds silly I know but hey, we are human which does come with a certain amount of silliness.

Keep in mind I’m just writing from my own experiences here concerning love and broken relationships. The one important realization which I unraveled was that of “rational self expectations”. Sometimes a breakup can be a good thing too. It clears the way for real love to come through. Hey, Prince/Princess Charming may be just around the corner waiting for the door to open. Some would call it serendipity or even destiny.

I found this great book authored by Travis or T Dub as he likes to be called which covers various topics on breakup issues. Listed below are examples from The Magic of Making Up:

• Reasons to break up
• Stages of breaking up
• Tips on surviving a breakup
• Why men dump women
• Get your ex back
• Save your relationship

“You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” ~Dr. Seuss

No comments: